Response to Feedback

As an athlete, how you respond to feedback is an essential mental skill. One of my favorite examples of how to respond to feedback effectively is Ashton Eaton. He viewed feedback as a critical tool for improvement and growth. Ashton’s relationship with his coach, Harry Marra, is a prime example of how embracing feedback can lead to extraordinary success. Because of that trust and open communication, Ashton was constantly seeking out feedback from Harry, using it to refine his techniques across all ten events of the decathlon.

This kind of mindset didn’t happen by accident. Eaton once explained his openness to feedback by saying, “I always tried to put my ego aside when Harry gave me feedback. My job was to listen and apply it. That’s how I got better.” This humility and hunger for improvement became the backbone of Eaton’s elite performance.

Let’s compare this to an athlete with a fixed mindset. These athletes perceive feedback as criticism or a personal attack. They believe their abilities are static and unchangeable, so any suggestion for improvement is seen as a threat to their self-worth. This leads to defensiveness and a reluctance to take constructive advice. These athletes are less likely to seek out feedback and often dismiss it when it’s given. Over time, this prevents growth and holds back performance.

Ashton’s success under Harry's guidance highlights how a growth mindset transforms feedback into a powerful motivator. He tackled weaknesses head-on, such as refining his pole vault technique, by meticulously applying the guidance from his coach. This open and adaptive approach was key to his ability to set a world record in the decathlon and win two Olympic gold medals. Eaton's story underscores that seeing feedback as a pathway to mastery is a hallmark of growth-minded athletes.

To become the best version of yourself, you must be open to coaching and instruction. See feedback as an opportunity to learn and improve, not as a critique of your abilities or identity. When you do that, you not only get into the right mindset, but you also develop skills at an accelerated rate.

See feedback as an opportunity to learn and a path to mastery.

This is Mental Strength.

For Players:

Do:

• Ask for feedback regularly and with genuine curiosity.

• Write down the feedback and create a plan to work on it.

• Remember that applying feedback is a skill—practice it like any other.

Avoid:

• Taking feedback personally or getting defensive.

• Ignoring feedback just because it’s uncomfortable or hard to hear.

• Pretending to accept it but never actually adjusting your approach.

For Parents:

Do:

• Reinforce that feedback is a gift and part of the growth process.

• Praise your athlete’s willingness to listen and apply coaching.

• Share examples of times when you learned from feedback in your own life.

Avoid:

• Jumping to defend your child when they receive tough feedback.

• Criticizing coaches in front of your child.

• Framing mistakes as failures instead of learning opportunities.

For Coaches:

Do:

• Create a culture where feedback is seen as usual, helpful, and expected.

• Give clear, actionable feedback without attacking the athlete’s identity.

• Celebrate athletes when they take feedback and use it to grow.

Avoid:

• Only giving feedback when things go wrong.

• Using sarcasm or shame in delivering instruction.

• Assuming athletes “aren’t coachable” before building trust.