The Comparison Trap: Focus on Your Game, Not Theirs

One of the fastest ways to drain your confidence and distract your focus is by comparing yourself to others. Whether it’s a top-ranked player, a teammate getting more attention, or someone whose highlight reel makes you feel small, comparison can quietly sabotage your mindset—and your performance.

This is a common mental trap. And it’s more damaging than it might seem on the surface.

Comparison Creates Interference

When you start comparing, you invite mental interference. That interference often comes in two forms:

• Intimidation: You look across the field, the court, or the rink, and see someone you’ve built up in your head. You start thinking things like:“They’re the top player. What chance do I have?”Instead of focusing on your execution, you’re focused on their reputation.

• Complacency: You look across and see someone you’ve decided isn’t at your level. You let your guard down. You don’t bring the same intensity. And the moment you ease up, they surprise you.“I’ve got this in the bag.”Suddenly, you’re down by two goals or chasing the game.

Both of these mental traps are about protecting your ego. You either brace for a loss and let yourself off the hook, or assume a win and let yourself underperform. Either way, you’re not giving your best.

The Wayne Gretzky Effect

Imagine stepping onto the ice and seeing Wayne Gretzky—the Great One—lining up on the opposite team. What would go through your head?

For many athletes, the first thought is doubt:

“He’s the best. It’s okay if I lose.”

But that thought isn’t harmless. It’s a signal to hold back—to compete with less effort because you’ve already written the story in your head. You’re protecting your ego by not trying as hard. After all, if you didn’t give your best, you have an excuse, right?

Now flip the script. Let’s say you’re the top player, and your opponent is someone with far less experience. It’s easy to think:

“This will be easy.”

And then they come out swinging—with hustle, toughness, and a refusal to back down. They beat you, not because they were more talented—but because they were more focused.

Task-Oriented Thinking: The Mental Reset

The solution? Become task-oriented.

That means shifting your focus away from who you’re playing and putting it on how you’re playing. Focus on the execution. Focus on your technique. Focus on your effort.

When you’re task-oriented, your confidence is built on something real—your preparation, your effort, your game plan. The opponent becomes a backdrop, not a distraction.

The best athletes compete the same way no matter who’s in front of them.

The Only Comparison That Matters

One of the most effective ways to build healthy confidence is to compare yourself only to one person: the previous version of you.

• Are you getting better?

• Are you learning from mistakes?

• Are you working harder or smarter than before?

Confidence built this way is steady. It’s not shaken by someone else’s stats, ranking, or reputation. It’s anchored in progress.

That’s how you build lasting self-belief. That’s how you keep growing—without letting other people’s success get in your way.

Practical Applications: For Players, Parents, and Coaches

For Players:

• What to Do: Before each game, remind yourself: “I don’t need to be better than anyone else—I just need to play my game.”

• What to Avoid: Don’t study your opponent’s résumé more than your own preparation. Your job is to compete, not to compare.

For Parents:

• What to Do: Reinforce the idea of growth by saying things like: “You’re improving every time I watch you.”

• What to Avoid: Avoid comparing your child to others—even as a compliment. Instead of “You’re better than so-and-so,” say “You’re really progressing in your game.”

For Coaches:

• What to Do: Encourage players to focus on effort, execution, and development. Use video to highlight individual progress.

• What to Avoid: Don’t motivate through comparison. It can backfire. Instead, create goals that are rooted in self-improvement.

This Is Mental Strength

Comparison is a thief of confidence and a killer of effort. The best athletes know this, and they train themselves to block out the noise and focus on the task at hand.

Whether you’re up against the GOAT or a rookie—play your game.

Don’t compare. Compete.

This is how you build mental strength.